Bad timing
by FreyaUnicorn
Summary: Ever since he was young, Phil could travel to his imaginary world and everything would be okay. But when the love of his life, Dan, moves out to live with his boyfriend, will this be enough?
1. irl

**HEY OMG JUST REALISED I COPIED AND PASTED THE WRONG FREAKING CHAPTER 1! HERE IS THE RIGHT ONE :3**

Ever since he was young, Phil had the ability to completely zone out from the horrors of real life. If he got scared, he would simply close his eyes and sit on his bed, travelling to the utterly perfect "Philland". It may not be the most creative name, but he was young when he made his first trip and certainly not in the mood to be doing anything creative. Through-out his life Phil had developed Philland to his dream world. Every last detail was something able to make him smile a great deal if it were to appear in real life. It had started off as just a ski resort with a little wooden shack, but soon he started to dream big. It went through phases of playboy mansion, his own personal theme park and oddly enough, dragon city (another original name there). These many places were pleasing to Phil but the one he escaped to the most, that exhilarated him and made him feel new, was still named Philland, but very unique. Ever since Phil had met his best friend Dan, Dan had worked his way into Philland, sometimes taking up the entire population! This Philland contained vast amounts of Dan. In fact, Dan happened to be married to Phil in Philland. They lived together much like in real life, but this time they both had a ring on their fingers, and a smile on their faces, and occasionally a boner that was dealt with by the other half. Phil liked it this way. To be honest, if you looked, closely, you would have seen that there were only three differences between real life and Philland.

Dan loved Phil as much as Phil loved Dan.

Phil had abs.

They didn't have to pay for anything, nor did the fans.

Phil would escape there for hours at a time, and each time a new and perfect journey would unfold.

Phil woke up one morning and decided it was time to make an escape to Philland, so he lay quietly under his covers and focused on waking up in an alternative way.

"Morning sunshine" said Dan.

"Hello!" Smiled Phil, giving Dan a quick peck on the lips. Even that gave him real time butterflies.

"I was thinking of porridge for breakfast. You want some?"

"Might as well."

"Go make it then." Laughed Dan.

"Oi!" Phil scrunched up his nose. "Hate you"

Phil's wonderful dream was interrupted. This time by the real Dan.

"PHIIIL!" Phil jumped in his bed. He truly wanted to finish that. Porridge sounded so good.

"What?" Phil yawned.

"You want some porridge?"

"Okay, that is awesome." Thought Phil. "Weird though."

"It's using soy millllllk!" Tempted Dan.

"Of course I do!"

"Good, I'll call you when it's done."

That was utterly awesome. Phil decided he had time to dream for a while longer.

"You wanna film more Dil today?" Asked dream Dan.

"yea, sounds great." Phil smiled.

Phil loved filming Dil. It was always just so laid back, with the occasional fire. It felt in real life, and in Philland, that they both had sense of control and could work together happily. Phil rolled over and saw Dan by his side. That was the one thing he wished for.

"READY!" Phil was being interrupted again, but he was okay with that. He got up wearily and sat at the real life table.

"Why thank you, sir." Said Phil in a posh voice as Dan laid down a bowl of warm porridge.

"You wanna film more Dil today?" Asked Dan.

Phil almost spat out his porridge. This was getting quite odd.

"Yea" Said Phil, confused.

"You okay?" Dan questioned.

"Yea, its just… things from my "dreams" have been happening"

"How many?"

"Just 2."

"Nothing to worry about then." Dan said and carried on with his porridge.


	2. your my best friend

After his porridge Phil decided to retreat from Philland for a while and socialise with Dan and the world of YouTube. After filming the sims Dan turned to Phil.

"You know those dreams in real life that you had" Dan said

"Yea…" Phil confirmed.

"What were they about? What dreams?" Dan looked genuinely interested with stars in his eyes.

"Oh… you wouldn't care." Phil muttered.

"I would! Come on! If they're happening irl it would be nice to know what they are." Dan implied.

"Well… it's kind of a fantasy world of mine where everything is good.

"Oh my god Phil!" Dan snickered. "That's so childish! Cute though I might have to add. Actually no oops I subtract that!" Dan was murmuring frantically trying to erase the words of calling Phil out of time.

Phil went all warm and fuzzy after being called cute so he used that feeling and retreated back to Philland. During his visit they had had a naked race around the apartment and Phil had won because of the unmistakable athlete he was. They had also made curry together and watched some anime.

"I love these lazy days" Stated Dan.

Phil decided to leave it there at that beautiful remark from his charming partner. As he emerged from his room, he heard Dan shout "In your fantasy world?" from across the apartment.

"yep!" Phil said uncomfortably.

"Am I in it?" Dan questioned, with a smirk on his face.

"Um…" Phil pondered what he would say. "Of course! You're my… your my best friend."

Dan emerged from his room.

"awh Phil." Dan blushed. "Where do we live?"

"Here."

"SERIOUSLY?" Dan flipped out. "Sorry… I mean… If I had the choice of anywhere… I'd live somewhere amazing."

"Well… I love it here with you." Phil whispered. The boys went silent, just staring at each other in the hall way. Finally, Dan got the courage to change the subject.

"Phil, you're so fucking soppy." Dan laughed and went into his room to browse the wide web.

Phil knew it was a joke, but it made Phil wince to think that Dan wasn't happy in their lovely flat. He sat on his bed and escaped once more, to his more than happy husband.

Dan stroked Phil's hair and said, "Are you okay, love? You seem down"

Damn, Phil wished so bad he would do it in real life.

"Yea I'm fine… are you happy?" Phil mumbled.

"What do you mean?"

"Are you happy living here?" Phil got smaller and smaller.

"Of course babe! Best place, this is." Dan beamed.

"Thanks."

Dan hugged his husband and walked away.

"OI PHIL. COME HERE!" It was real Dan.

Phil obeyed and walked into the living room where Dan was scrolling through Tumblr.

"What did you want?" Phil questioned.

"Nothing. Just felt like trolling you. Getting you out of that ridiculous dream world of yours." Dan chuckled.

"Dan!" Phil moaned. "Don't!"


	3. Answer my texts!

Phil was utterly disgusted by Dan's rudeness. Did he not know how important those sessions were? The sessions that most likely stopped Phil from becoming the existential crisis of a man that Dan was? Phil decided to go out to lunch on his own, ignoring the hell out of Dan. He sat in subway.

BZZZZZ. It was a text from Dan.

"Oi. Why did you go without me? Did you forget? You twat!"

Oh. How nice of him. Such a caring text.

BZZZZ another one from Dan, minutes later.

"Ignoring me are you? You know I love you, twatface! So answer!"

Phil knew Dan was joking by being rude, but it still hurt a bit. He also lit up when he read the words "love you" but of course it was a friend thing, he got a boyfriend for Christ sakes! Jackson. What kind of name was Jackson? But every time Phil saw Dan and Jackson together, he knew it was love. Dan looked at Jackson the way Phil looked at him.

Phil started to tear up.

"Better stop thinking about that then!" he thought.

BZZZZ. Another text. What now?

"Fine. I don't care. Jack's coming round anyway. Good thing you've gone. Now we can be _louder"_

Phil shivered at that text.

"Well done Phil." He thought. "They are gonna have sex in your apartment." He couldn't blame Dan. He and Jackson had been dating for over four months and was able to hide all intimacy/affection from Phil.

He didn't know what to do or when Jackson would be gone so he just moped around town for a bit.

After taking a stroll through Harrods and a sit in a park to contemplate life, his phone finally buzzed a fourth time.

"Jacksons gone now just to let you know. Don't know when you'll be back so I'm not cooking."

Phil could tell Dan was angry at him for ignoring him. Phil was also angry at himself for leaving like that. He shouldn't have been so short. He decided to text back, after the three hours of trying to ignore his little Danny.

"Sorry I got mad, it's just Philland is a precious world that comforts me."

Almost seconds after that he got another text from Dan.

"Sorry I was a dick. You coming back?"

"Yea. On the tube now."

Soon, Phil got home to a very playful yet mad Dan. Dan simply walked past and ruffled Phil's hair. Great, re-styling time. Phil looked in the mirror and did a quick fringe check. He wasn't hungry at all so he grabbed a bag of crisps and sat in his room, eating. After a while of checking recent activity from his tumblr friends he realised he hadn't been to see his husband for a while, so he lay down and closed his eyes.

"You were gone for a while there babe!" Dan explained.

"Yea, sorry. What are you up for tonight?"

"Well, we could record a vid for my channel early, seeing as we are going to see PJ and Chris tomorrow."

"Newly weds challenge?" Phil asked.

"You guessed it! I'll set up and you can go sort out your hair or whatever." Dan smiled.

Phil ran into the bathroom and did a quick hair check. Almost perfect. He threw on a green hoodie and turquoise jeans as he realised he was still in the clothes from the Dil vid. The phans would get suspicious. Phil looked at his face in the mirror, and saw his beautiful husband walk into the room behind him. Before Phil could say or do anything, Dan pulled him into an extremely tight hug.

"Don't worry Philly. You heard it from irl me. I will love you for as long as you will put up with me, even if that is only in the friend way! But you can come here whenever, and I will be right here."

Sometimes even his own imagination surprised Phil.


	4. Harriet

Three months had gone by and Phil had become more and more in need of visiting Philland. Jackson was over 86% of the time, but Phil could not blame either of them, the relationship was on its seventh month! To be honest, Jackson was quite the charming young man. Phil could not blame Dan for seeing fireworks when he looked at Jackson. That is the way Dan described it. Fireworks. Owch.

That certain day, Phil had decided to take a walk around the town once more, because Jackson had decided to stay the night, but also make 'playful' jokes to Phil about Philland, lions and much more.

He just sat there drinking starbucks when a pretty young woman in her twenties came up to him.

"You look very familiar, Have I seen you somewhere?"

"maybe, I'm a YouTuber."

"Oh yes! AmazingPhil!" She smiled with wide eyes.

"I am, hello! And you are?"

"Harriet. Harriet Prawley. My daughters shown you to me sometimes, and I always thought you were adorable!"

Phil blushed. "Oh thanks! You must have been young when you had her!"

"17. She's 9 now. You do the math." Both of the adults laughed. "Here, have my number. You seem sweet."

"So there's no Mr Prawley?" Phil questioned.

"Unfortunately not. He chickened out when he heard about the little "Bundle of joy" coming into our lives. But she, Jessica by the way, is absolutely perfect." Explained Harriet.

"Oh sorry! But then again, I'm happy for you!" Phil laughed.

"haha. Anyway, best be off. Nice talking to you Phil!" She announced.

"Bye then!"

Phil knew what Harriet was looking for, and it was not what Phil was looking for, but she looked like a great person. He knew she would understand him moderately. She would talk to him and help him. This took a bit of weight off of his shoulders. Phil sat in starbucks, thoughts wading through his brain. That moment was a moment he loved, because the world was good.

When Phil got home Dan and Jack were making out on the couch. It only took them a few seconds for them to realise Phil was there. Immediately, Jackson pulled off.

"Sorry, Phil, bro!" Panted Jackson.

"No it's fine! I'll just retreat to my room and you can do whatever you want." Said Phil.

To be honest, the boys were both lucky. Dan, for having a stunning and very nice boyfriend, and Phil, for the same reason! Phil had so much browsing and chilling time on his own when Jackson was round. It was very easy for Dan to do what he wanted with boundaries. But sometimes Jackson did get a little on Phil's nerves.

Phil went on tumblr for a while before he was interrupted by Dan.


	5. Roomies with Jackson

"Phil… there's something I need to say."

"Um… go on…" Said Phil, slightly confused.

"Well, Jack and I have been talking. And we think it's the exact right time to do something. We have been together for a while now and…"  
"Get to the point" Phil butted in.

"We are moving in together!" Dan beamed.

"Oh. Good for you. Good luck finding a place. Bye now."

This was too much of a hint for Dan not to leave the room, but before he left, he said "Sorry, Philion. I am definitely going to talk to you when Jackson goes."

Dan rushed out and sat down to talk with his new roomie, and left Phil to sit and shake. Phil just couldn't bring himself to imagine happiness at that moment. Less than a minute later, Dan came rushing back in. Phil decided to tell him his thoughts, or at least the skin deep ones.

"You shouldn't be sorry. You love him. He loves you." Wavered Phil.

"thank you. But if you're happy for me why aren't you?" Questioned Dan.

Phil didn't know what to say. He sat there trying to hold back the tears, until Dan couldn't take it, and walked out. But when he got to the doorway Phil jumped up and sprinted to the doorframe and just hugged Dan.

"I'm gonna miss you Dan."

"You too Phil." Dan ran out into the living room to hide the fact he was crying.

"I need to tell him. It needs to come out." Thought Dan. He slowly went back into Phils bedroom.

"Phil." He said. "When we first met, you know I was a bit of a Phangirl." Dan mumbled.

"yes."

"Well for like three years, I also liked you a lot, too. You saved me. You were amazing, and that made me love you. But then it just kind of… wore out."

"You could have told me! I wouldn't have cared!" Phil shouted.

"Phil." Dan tried to calm him down. "But you didn't love me. And it would have been awkward."

"How do you know? I did! I DO!" Phil bellowed, then cupped his mouth. He turned round and immediately hid under his covers. Phil couldn't believe what he just said. Dan would never speak to him again.

"I guess it's just bad timing." Dan breathed, and walked into his room.

By then, Phil and Harriet were very good friends, so he phoned her up.

"Hello, Harriet?"

"Hello Phil! You alright?"

Phil couldn't help from getting to the point.

"Dan's moving out" He said with a lump in his throat.

"Oh! What a shame! Do you want me to come over?"

"um okay. I'll ask Dan if he can leave."

Dan was standing in the hallway by the time he said that.

"Harriet, is it?"

"Yes" Phil said, getting smaller and smaller.

"If you don't want me here. I'll be at Jacksons." Dan said stubbornly, whilst slamming the door. Phil put his head in his hands.

"well done Phil." He said.

Within 10 minutes Harriet was at the door.

"Sorry Phil. I'm so so sorry. I saw how you looked at him. It's a way everyone wants to be looked at."

"you.. you knew?"

"Of course Phil." Her large green eyes glinted in the light on the ceiling. Phil didn't know what else to do so he just hugged her. "You'll be fine" She said, stroking his hair.

They sat and had a very long conversation, about anything and everything. They told secrets, played games and made faces. Harriet was really a female equivalent of Phil himself.

After a few hours, at 9:40, he got a text from Dan.

"Coming home now."

He knew that Dan wouldn't want to see Harriet, the girl that was beginning to replace him, so Phil sent her home.

"Sorry." Said Phil.

"Don't be! I had a lovely time! Now, I'll text you when I get home. Bye bye now!" She beamed.

What a great person Harriet was. Suddenly, it deemed on Phil. It had been days since he last visited Philland! He only had a few minutes before Dan got home, so it was a simple trip, where he hugged his husband, had a little chat and drank some tea.

"babe, I'm coming in the door, snap out of it."

Phil stopped imagining just in time.

"hey." Said Phil.

"what did you two do?" asked Dan, Without even saying hello.

"Talked, so shut up." Said Phil stubbornly.

"Okay, okay! But we need to make a confession vid tomorrow. It's going up on my channel."

"Yea yea." Phil turned round and switched his laptop on. Then, a splash of water hit the keyboard. He looked up. Was there a leak? No, the roof had no cracks or anything! The water sped up and more and more drops of water fell down onto his laptop. Then he realised, they were his tears.


	6. I thought you would be more supportive

He put his head into his pillow and cried as silently as he could, but Dan must have heard it. He came rushing into Phil's room and lay next to him on the bed.

"I may not be in this apartment again, but I'm never going to leave you, Phil."

Dan left Phil in his room and he went back into his room.

The next day was a day that Phil dreaded. Jackson was coming round to be shown in the video. The stupid video clarifying Dan really was moving out.

Phil got out of his bed early in the morning just so he could start an anime without Dan, his way of

Being rebellious. When Dan got up he moaned at Phil about the system, and that he would be taking that certain anime just to annoy him. Phil ignored him and carried on watching but Dan carried on until he realised. He slammed the power button off and lashed out at Phil.

"PHIL. STOP ACTING CHILDISH. TOO BAD, I LOVE SOMEONE. DEAL WITH IT. I UNDERSTAND ITS HARD BUT CHILDISH GAMES LIKE THIS ARE NOT GOING TO WORK." Said Dan, looking Phil right in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Dan." Phil said. All he could think was "We are a duo. Dan and Phil. We are probably making lives worse by posting this video."

Phil didn't want anything for breakfast. He didn't have an appetite. He sat in Philland for a while, talking to Dan. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. It was Jackson. How did he work his way into Philland?

"I'm here to take Dan." He growled.

"WHAT?!" Phil squeaked.

"Did I not tell you? Oops, Jack Jack is my fiancé now. Just thought I'd tell you before it got too late, and you lived here." Dan said with a wink, and waltzed out with Jackson.

Phil was confused. What did he mean by "before you lived here"? Would he dream about Philland? Would he fall into a coma? This was all too much for him. It was time to start the video. He glumly walked into Dan's room, interrupting Dan and Jacksons make-out session.

"Sorry bro." Smiled Jackson. You had to admit, Jackson was a beautiful man with a perfectly crooked smile. Of course, this didn't stop Phil despising the man, purely because he was in a loving relationship. The silence was devastating. The men sat awkwardly whilst they thought of something to say.

"Right." Huffed Dan, making Phil jump. "I have an idea on what I am going to say. Jackson get out of shot. Phil stay here. I'm sorry I sound so stern! I'm just wondering what the phandom will think. I know everyone ships us. But of course I don't." Jackson had changed Dan. Most would say for the better, but Phil loved it when Dan made gloves of his sleeves and shrunk down when he felt awkward or sad. It was unbelievably cute. Then again, Phil liked this new sense of confidence and bounciness in Dan. The camera started rolling.

"Hello internet! Today, I have something pretty different for you today. You will all act in different ways to this news, I know. Please don't think anything different of me and Phil. As some of you know I have been dating a special someone for a while, and I would like to explain to you who this person is. HE is very cute, slightly emo, black hair and awesome dress sense." Phil could just hear the fangirls screaming "PHAN" into their screens. "Me and him have an announcement, and I hope you can be happy for us. So, would you like to get in shot?" Jackson appeared, hitting his head on a filming light as he walked in. He and Dan laughed. Phil could feel the fangirls hearts dropping, them tearing up, unsubscribing to Dan, sending sympathetic emails to Phil and hating Jackson. Only a handful of the Phandom would do that, but it hurt Phil to think about it. Phil just couldn't take the pain. He turned his phone on, out of the cameras shot, and searched through his settings to find his ringtone. Fast instrumental music blasted through his speakers, and he rushed off. Dan saw what Phil had done and started to tear up. He made out that he was happy. Of course, he edited out the part where Phil left the room, tweeting "The hospital called Phil with some bad news, but he wouldn't not like to talk about it."

Phil sat in his room and prayed that Dan would not come in and ask who was on the phone and what they wanted. Dan didn't. It was completely different. Dan simply sat on Phil's bed and put his arms around him.

"Dan…" Phil whispered. Dan hushed him by whimpering. It was obvious he did not words to be spoken at that point. After around thirty seconds, Dan got up and went to the door. Phil expected him to say something… ANYthing comforting. No. Dan shook his head disappointingly. Tears were seconds away from streaming from both of their faces.

"I thought you would be more supportive. You are my best friend."


	7. the slap

"I thought you would be more supportive. You are my best friend."

It was a Wednesday when Dan hit Phil. Everything of Dan's was packed up and put in Dan's room. He wouldn't be moving far as Jacksons apartment was across the street from theirs. Phil was sitting in the corridor trying to get Philland into its normal state once more, but it didn't work. It took a while for Phil to realise Dan was sitting next to next to him, staring at him.

"What?" Phil huffed.

"Nothing."

"Then why are you sitting here?"

"um… I… Don't know. Do… do you wanna talk?" Stuttered Dan.

"No. Not really. You can carry on moving your boxes."

"you gonna help?"

"No."

Dan heaved Phil up and pushed him against the wall.

"Come on Phil. Please?" Dan forced a smile.

"You said I don't have to!" Phil shouted.

Dan slapped Phil and stormed off.

"I'm so sorry Phil." He heard from behind the door. "I don't know what's got into me. I think its best if I go. You'll be okay without me Phil. danandphilGAMES will still go on… if you want it to. Bye, and thanks for saving me. Love you Phillion.

"Dan?!" Phil cried. He touched his red face in disbelief. He knew exactly what to do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Phil pulled away from the kiss. He felt so sorry for himself that he made a grave mistake. Harriet smiled.

"That was nice." Her eyes twinkled. Phil didn't answer. The twinkle in her eyes darkened.

"Look, Phil." She shook her head. "I shouldn't have said yes to kissing you. It's obvious you aren't over Dan." She ran out of Phil's apartment and slammed the door. Phil sat in Dan's existential crisis corridor and shook. He found himself entering Philland to an empty room. He snapped out immediately and plodded to the bathroom. As he turned on the shower he noticed something. A razor. It was Dan's. He turned the shower off straight 0061way, leaned down, and picked it up. He threw a dressing gown on out of habit, even though there was no-one in the house and got a screwdriver from the cupboard. With tears in his eyes, he decided it was the only way to release himself from all of the stress. From the gaping hole of darkness appearing in front of him. From being denied by Harriet. From Dan being frustrated and disappointed with him. He even had an ill father on the verge of death, which he tried to forget about. His father wasn't proud of him anyway, he hated the fact that Phil didn't just like women. He didn't know what was to come. So he needed to end it. He took the blade and dragged it across his wrist. Then he realised. "Just thought I'd tell you before it got too late, and you lived here." He fainted.

"Hey. Um. I forgot my laptop charger. PHIL!"

Dan sprinted to Phil and started crying.

"Look what I did to you. You were so innocent and brightly coloured." He said and dialled 999.

"Hello? The most innocent man in the world has tried to kill himself."


	8. Forgetfulness can be good

**Hey guys, you may have noticed that chapter 1 did not make sense to the story at all! That's because I copied and pasted the wrong chapter of the wrong story xD if you were confused I changed it to the real one so I would read that if you are already part way into the story** **J** **(derp)** Phil woke up. The room was dark but he recognised where he was. Dan's bed. He felt Dan's warm topless body beside him. For a second he believed it was real life, and then it hit him.

"I thought you moved out with Jackson?" Phil questioned make-believe Dan.

"Who's Jackson, babe?" A weary Dan asked.

Phil didn't answer. He thought back to the terrible experience he had when Jackson made his way into Philland and stole his one true love. After a long pause, he sighed.

"Just a bad dream" choked Phil. He knew this was the dream. He didn't fight back the tears this time. He cried in to his husbands shoulder. It was weird because he really felt the tears streaming down his cheeks, but not coming from his eyes. A voice boomed down on him. It was Jacksons.

"Good thing, killing yourself was. Before your dad died. And of course Dan and I could be shagging right now, not even knowing your lying cold on the bathroom floor. And the other girl you liked turned you down. I think you were beginning to like her. Then the comments on Dan's vid. They all knew you didn't actually get a call. They all saw the lump in your throat, and Dan's for that matter. Most were sympathetic, but some were very hateful. Loads have unsubscribed to Dan, your weak little friend who lived off of your comfort. But any way, well don on the choice of kill-"

"STOP!" Phil cried "I DON'T NEED THIS." It was obvious to him Dan couldn't hear Jackson and looked very confused.

Jackson's voice faded away and Phil apologised to Dan.

"Just things from my dream haunting me." Smiled Phil.

"Must have been a very bad dream for you to start crying. You got me so frightened, Phil. I'm not going to leave you, my little lion. I love you." Dan pulled Phil closer and it felt all too real to Phil.

Phil felt very weird, as if he had just been slapped in the face, multiple times.

"Oh, Phil. You idiot. Why?" Cried Dan. Phil looked extremely confused. Was this about killing himself? How did Philland Dan know? Dan acted as if he never said it. He just smiled and gave Phil a kiss on the forehead before slipping out of bed.

"I'll pour you some cheerios, you look really shaken up. Wait there"

XXXXXXXX

Dan gave Jackson a quick kiss on the lips.

"Just off to get my charger." He beamed.

"Trust you to leave that there!" Teased Jackson.

"Be right back." Dan said, as he stepped out the door.

The journey was only a 20 minute walk, and Dan needed some fresh air. All he really wanted was to check on Phil, as well as get his laptop. He knew what he had been doing lately was a bit out of hand. Moving in after 7 months! And he also knew that the constant graphic descriptions of what he and Jackson had been doing was stupid. He realised he had not helped Phil at all, he had pretty much been a bad friend. All the making fun of Philland, but it was Phil's escape, from everything. And Dan had tried to push him out of the habit, even though that was probably the thing keeping being such a ray of sunshine. Dan fought tears, and won the battle but was left weak. If any more put up a fight he would surely give up.

He approached his old apartment, his best friend, although he feared they would grow apart, all he wanted to do was explain how sorry he was and how badly he wanted to stay as close as they were. He had also forgotten to hand Phil back his key, so he simply unlocked the door and shouted Phil's name as he stepped through the door. He looked both ways and didn't hear Phil's voice. He needed the toilet, and figured Phil would answer if he was in there. Just in case he called out to him.

"Hey. Um, I forgot my laptop charger." He twisted open the door and yawned before looking in, and realising what had happened. It took him less than a second to recognise what had happened. "PHIL!"

The tears streamed down instantly as he crouched down on the floor, and stared down at the pale, lifeless face of the once bouncy, truly amazing, Phil. He whipped out his phone and dialled 999. He had to stay on the call until the ambulance got there. As the woman on the phone explained that the paramedics were coming up the stairs, he leaned down to Phil, so that they were almost touching, and tears fell from his face, on to Phil's. It looked like the tears were his, and Dan could swear he heard a whimper come from Phil. Just as the paramedics pounded at the door, Dan pulled Phil's cold body on to his, in an unbelievably warm hug, before sprinting to let them in. He followed as the paramedics carried Phil to the ambulance, climbing in.

The ambulance was around thirty seconds from the hospital when Dan whispered to Phil.

"Oh Phil. You idiot. Why?" Part of him prayed that Phil would just get up and answer.

Dan waited for hours for Phil to awake. They had tended to his cuts, and put an oxygen mask on his face. All that was left was to wait. Jackson came after thirty minutes, and left after another two hours. At 11 o'clock at night Dan decided it was time to leave, and promised he would be back in the morning.

The moment he got home he posted a picture of the lifeless looking Phil, with an oxygen mask on his face. With the caption," Pray for this amazing man. I am heart broken. #getwellphilly" This raised a lot of questions but most figured that was the "call" from the hospital. Within three hours it was the most trending hashtag on twitter, with almost every YouTuber, every Phangirl/boy, and even people who didn't watch Dan and Phil using it. It didn't leave the most trending hashtag board for 6 months, until Phil woke up.


	9. getwellsoonphilly

It took seven days in total for Phil to not think about real life every second of the day. Now, it was just once a day for a short while. He had almost begun to forget things. But he didn't forget all of the warm embraces that Dan used to provide before Jackson. They made him warm inside. Life felt like normal after a while. He never kept track of the date, so after a while he didn't know how long he had spent there. He loved it though. Everything was good. But he just couldn't help wondering about the constant feelings of his hand being held when no-one was there, words from Dan being spoken that didn't make sense to the moment, and the odd hashtag that kept making his way into Philland twitter. Within what he thought was around three months, he barely ever thought about real life, and even thought sometimes that Philland was real.

XXXXXXXXXX

It had been 5 months and Dan was almost going to give up. He couldn't take the stress. He made a trip for a few hours 3 times a week, and he really wished he could come more, but Jackson called it "obsessive". He spoke to Phil as usual, about mail that had been send for get well. There were more cards and presents from the Phandom every day. He talked about anime, about new videos, gossip, and he even sung once or twice. On the 17th day of the 5th month (Dan was counting the days) He almost gave in. He almost told the doctor to turn off the machine. But then, a simple slurred word came of Phil's mouth.

"Dan."

"Phil! Phil are you with me? PHIL?"

No reply. Dan knew he dreamt it. But then, he saw Phil's lips move.

"Dan…" Phil's eyes stayed closed and nothing else on his body moved. Dan knew that it was common for a few signs of being awake to show in a coma. Most doctors thought that it meant they were close to waking up. Dan knew he needed to leave it for as long as Phil needed.

He breathed a smile and sighed at the same time.

"Take your time. But I'd like it if you awoke soon. I'm terrified, Phil." Dan blinked, and put his chocolate brown eyes on Phil's dead looking face, and stared.

" _absolutely terrified"_ He breathed.

He dreaded going home, even though his Jack Jack was there. They had being fighting a lot about Phil. Jackson thought that Dan thought more of Phil than Jackson. Jackson was walking on extremely thin ice, as of course, he did not save Dan's life, but Phil did, and kept him safe and happy, for years. Jackson did not love him in the way Phil did, and Dan knew it. Phil loved him so much, in friend way and it was unfortunately clear how much Phil wanted Dan as his. But he plodded home, and explained everything. It seemed Jackson had a realisation, as he acted completely different. He smiled a genuine smile as Dan told him what had happened at the hospital. Then he said something so relieving.

"Phil was a great guy. I suppose I didn't like him cause he saved your life, but your mine!" He looked angry, but snapped himself out of it. "I wasn't there" He breathed calming himself down. "I couldn't have done anything. Anyway, he put any struggling per- ANYBODY before himself to make them okay. He was such a cool soul. I really hope he's okay Dan."

"When did you change your mind, Jack?" Dan smiled, almost crying of pride.

"When I realised he was just trying to help you, not to steal you. He just couldn't hold in his feelings, so that's why he was crying a lot, and lashing out. He never showed his bad feelings because he didn't want to put them down too. So he broke when they worked themselves out."

Dan pulled Jackson into a warm, tight embrace. There was part of him that felt angry and confused that Jackson had never said anything that even came _close_ to what he had just said, and he hated that part. But it still pondered there… All Jackson had ever said to him was "I love you".


	10. yh short chapter shhh

Harriet walked into her young daughter's room. She was crying.

"What's the matter, lovely?" she smiled.

"Philly hasn't woken yet, has he?" replied a wobbly, young voice.

"Oh Jessica. No he hasn't." She sighed.

"You love him, don't you mummy?" Jessica smiled through her tears.

"I wouldn't say love, sweetie" Harriet laughed weakly.

"But you are always there! Lots of times a week!"

"That's just in case."

"Will you take me one day? I care about him too, I love him more than you!" Taunted the young girl.

"Haha, do you? I shall tell him that. But they don't let kiddies there."

Jessica frowned. "Ok, make sure you give him my cards!" She passed her mother 2 cards, both with a drawing oh Phil on it.

"I don't think he needs any more than you have already given him. There's no more room on the table. You get ready for bed, I will be back at about 8:45, to say night night." Harriet said slightly sternly. Her beautiful daughter obeyed without a word.

Harriet walked quickly and without stopping. He wanted to make this visit quick. It had been exactly 6 months since the tragedy. Throughout these long months, Harriet had wondered if what she had done was something to do with it. She shivered. As she came closer, she noticed a familiar haircut sitting on a step.

"Dan?" She smiled.

"Hey." Dan huffed. Dan and Harriet had accidentally met each other many times within those 6 months, and had become quite good friends. Harriet had a weird feeling towards Dan. He was very attractive, most people knew, but his personality once you broke the awkward barrier, was quite the one to desire for.

"You're late…" He sniffed.

"W...What?" Harriet was confused.

"Oh. Sorry. You're normally here at 7:20. It's 7:40." The boy said with a swallow.

"I…Um…Jessica…Late?" Harriet couldn't form words.

"I'm sorry! I'm a stalker, hah. I just notice things… with people I care about." Dan turned away.

"Aww Dan… Thanks… It means a lot…. But do u come here just to meet… ME?" Harriet got more confused with every second that went by.

"oh. Uh…." Dan was the one who leaned in. Harriet didn't see it coming, but she didn't deny the kiss. After all, her feelings for him were forever growing.


	11. the tiny little boy

After about 15 seconds Harriet pulled away. Dan had a boyfriend! She liked Phil! It just wasn't right!

"What the fuck, dude?" Is all she could get out of her mouth, and she ran to Phil's room. She didn't cry. In fact, she spoke calmly.

"I'm sorry for being a dick to you, even in ways you may never know. Please wake up. I love you… as a friend. I'm sorry. I don't know! Just don't die on me Philly... live to see how many people care. Please!"

Phil just breathed, as usual. A single tear rolled down Harriet's cheek, but she didn't feel as sorry as she should have.

"These are for you." She continued, as she grabbed the cards her daughter had written for him. After she put them on her table, she sat staring at the array of cards on Phil's table. Around 20 colourful, hand drawn ones from Jessica, some simple shop bought ones and 3 letters written in shaky yet neat handwriting. Each letter looked very personal, and was signed "Love from Bear". Harriet smiled. She knew too well who bear was. She longed to look closer at one of them, but she knew it would be rude.

"Those cards from Jessica are very pretty." Spoke a soft, wavery voice from behind her.

"Those cards from Bear look very personal." Whispered Harriet.

"You don't know Phil as well as you think." Dan sighed, as he sat down on the bottom of Phil's bed.

"What?" Harriet was offended.

"He just _draws people in._ He treats everyone as if they are his best friend. And that's his problem. People get let down because he is _too_ nice."

Harriet wished she could be offended or gobsmacked but she really did understand. Phil probably knew his problem, and was frightened of what would happen once she realised she was just a friend. Not the ultra-best friend forever she pictured herself as. Was that why Phil had kissed her? To make it out like she was quite important? Or did he really like her? But all this thinking brought her back to what Dan had done.

"Daniel James Howell!" She said, loudly.

"Harriet… quiet… What do you want?" Dan murmured.

She simply just got up and slapped him. Even though Dan had a boyfriend, it was completely the wrong place, and he did it a few metres away from his best friend in a coma.

"I see…" Dan sighed.

Harriet nodded. "Yes. Now goodby-" Dan grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Harriet… sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm confused. Really confused. Me and Jackjack keep fighting cause he never said anything good about Phil and then he did all the time and never even said I love you to me and you and me are like really good friends and…" Dan had to stop to catch his breath.

"Dan. He does love you." Harriet sighed.

"So why did he said he fucking _hates_ me?" Dan whimpered.

Harriet couldn't begin to understand what was happening. She just didn't know what to say. She just leaned down to the tiny little boy sitting on the bed and hugged him.

Her voice came out dry and wobbly but she thought he could just understand her. "It's just nerves Dan, nerves and stress."

Harriet couldn't wait to go and interrogate Jackson. What excuses did he have for being half responsible for the change of an awkward yet handsome, responsible young man into a weak young boy?


	12. confusion

She didn't bother to knock. Dan had given her the key while he stayed at the hospital for a while longer. She knew why. She saw another bear letter sticking from his pocket.

"Jackson!"

A hot, emo face appeared from round a corner.

"Dan, you got a lot more feminine! Hah! Hey Harriet." He smiled.

"What's wrong with you?" She breathed, trying to stay calm.

"Huh? And how did you get into my house? Dan's key? You murdered him!" Jackson laughed.

Harriet tutted. "Oh yea, it was pretty easy. He had no will power left" She said sarcastically.

"um…" Jackson didn't know what was happening.

"Yea Jackson, people don't really like it when their boyfriend of a year and a month hate them" Harriet said as she rolled her eyes.

"Can you like get out please? I'll take the key thanks babe." He reached for the key. Harriet winced as he called her babe, but pulled her hand away just in time for the key to be out of his reach.

"Not until you tell me why you did this Jackson."

"Fine. Couples grow apart. You understand? He's been _unbelievably_ moody for a whole half year, like mood swings or something. It's so hard… he's been mean." Jackson looked defeated.

"Oh." Harriet just wanted everything to stop.

"And I'm as confused as Dan with who I love." Jackson sighed, and walked closer.

Jackson, I must say, was much cuter that you would think someone with his personality would look like. In fact, he was extremely desirable. And had one of those personalities where you always feel sorry for him. This was not good for Harriet. She had had enough. She was tired, mad and oh so done. So, she didn't pull away from the kiss. Not even when Jackson moved it to the couch. Not even when he took his shirt off.


End file.
